The Marching Owl Band

Insanity Center of Rice University

RICE "MOB" SHOW

TEXAS TECH HALFTIME

"Ladies and gentlemen: The question has often been asked, what

will the MOB be like in the future? After many hours of

genuflection and a few trips to our greasy Quija Board, we

have perceived the answer to this riddle. Tonight, we are

proud to present the MOB 50 years from now - the Geriatric

Owl Band!"

Band shuffles out of tunnel into first formation dressed as senior

citizens.

"Yes friends, here comes the group that has been laughed at by more

people than even the Rice cheerleaders. While we're waiting

for them to get into their first formation, I'll bring you

up to date on what has happened over the years. The

uniforms, you may note, are the same. They have survived

floods, fistfights, and hollow attempts by the administration

at replacing them. Fortunately, a recent plan hopes to shrink

the coats and sell them as tuxedos for cockroaches. The

fuzzy white hats were sold several years ago to be used as

Q-tips for sperm whales. And, to this day, wherever the

band goes, their critics are sure to be right behind them."

Band has assumed first formation, drum major blows whistle.

"On those lazy afternoons while they're waiting for the morning

mail, the aging MOBsters like to pass the time feeding their

pet cowbirds. By smuggling out their ample leftovers from

dormitory meals, they provide the minimum daily requirement

for thousands of these feathered friends. As a result, these

handsome pets make a point of "dropping by" the campus every

day."

Band plays "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." March into Hearts.

"Some people wonder if there is sex after sixty. We'd like to

think that there is, but we're not sure. We've been at Rice

all this time, and we're not even sure there is sex after

high school. The MOB has formed to doubting hearts, and

plays tribute to their 50 years of cold showers."

Band plays "Will You Still Love Me at 64?" Marches into prune.

"Some things in life cannot be hurried at our age. Although other

people rely upon Serutan to help Natur's way, the food service

has been adding a secret ingredient to all main dishes served

on campus for years. The MOB has formed a prune, and salutes

this unsung fruit with a little number to get the band moving."

Band plays "Pop, Pop, Fizz, Fizz." Marches off field to music.

"There you have it fans, a real bunch of regular guys! Thank you

and goodnight."