The Marching Owl Band

Insanity Center of Rice University

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ANNOUNCER: This is "Join The MOB Day". Please welcome the thirty brave souls who have joined us on the field today. If we look or sound better than usual - it's probably their fault.

MOB: GO RICE!

FORMATION: happyface

ANNOUNCER: The MOB offers a warm Houston welcome to the University of Hawai'i Rainbow Warriors ... wait a second! What's that you say? They dropped the rainbow? I guess they didn't want people thinking they were, well… happy. The Hawai'i Warriors have made it clear that they are not happy - not that there's anything wrong with that.

ACTION: Near beginning of song, smile is turned upside-down. SA warriors scare rainbow people away or turn them into mean warrior people; song ends, MOB scatters to…

FORMATION: Bomb

ANNOUNCER: Well, happy or not, the MOB is always glad to see the Hawai'ian Warriors. We'd really like to see them at the game next year - in Hawai'i!

MOB: A - LOOO - HA!

ANNOUNCER: Unfortunately, the MOB's financial situation is so bad...

ANNOUNCER: It's so bad, we can't even afford to put a joke here!

DRUMS: ba-DUM [crash]

ANNOUNCER: Hmm... maybe we could collect some insurance money by blowing up the BANDHALL! And if we get caught... well, we can just say it was a jack on Hanszen.

MUSIC: Mission Impossible

ACTION: At beginning of song, wick on bomb shortens. During music, SA's sneak up and blow up instruments and get money and stuff.

ANNOUNCER: We never get caught. Ever.

FORMATION: Crossroads

ANNOUNCER: How else could the MOB find funds to go to Hawaii? Suppose we kidnapped the Camacho's and held them hostage?

ACTION: SA's start to tie them up

CC: Well, what did you expect? They are the MOB.

ANNOUNCER: Dear Rice administration… We won't give your Vice President of Student Affairs back unless you pay us [dramatic pause] one hundred THOUSAND dollars!

ACTION: MOB holds finger near head a la Dr. Evil

MUSIC: What Would You Say

ACTION: Camachos tied to train tracks. As train is coming to run them over, SA in business suit ("administration") comes up and pays money and rescues them. After they are released, they exit up into the student section and someone on sidelines has a large sign that says "He's Free!"; song ends, and MOB scatters to…

FORMATION: FOX

ANNOUNCER: How else could we find money to go to Hawaii? Maybe we could sell our souls to the Devil! But since the Lord of Darkness is currently busy with NOD and the upcoming elections, we had to sink even lower, and sold our souls to Fox Sports.

MUSIC: Fox Sports Saturday Football theme

ACTION: Devil won't pay MOBsters, so business suit guy does. Then they go around and advertise for Fox; song ends, MOB scatters to...

FORMATION: Peace Sign

ANNOUNCER: Lots of people go to foreign lands for free by joining the Peace Corps and teaching the natives to be Americans. Maybe the MOB could sign up and go to Hawaii! We could teach these "Hawai-i-cans" to use credit cards, eat Big Macs... maybe even play football!

MUSIC: Volcano

ACTION: SAs line up in abbreviated football formation and teach stereotypically dressed Hawaiians to run the option. Someone holds up a sign marked "OPTION 1"; SA football players drop the ball. "OPTION 2" - quarterback takes the snap, all the players fall down. "OPTION 3" - fullback goes one way, quarterback tosses the other way.

FORMATION: Block on sideline, 40 yardline to 40 yardline (very quick scatter)

ANNOUNCER: We'd like to point out that the Warriors total point output has dropped by more than fifty percent since they dropped the "Rainbow" from their name. Like Sampson after his haircut, they've lost something. Maybe they needed that Rainbow - without it, they've cut their their chances of scoring in half, too. Still… they're sooo cute and cuddly; they'll always be Rainbows to us.

MUSIC: Rainbow Finale

ACTION: SA's raise a whole bunch of helium-filled balloons in a rainbow configuration. Play Louie when we get to the sidelines.

MUSIC: Louie

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