The Marching Owl Band
Insanity Center of Rice University
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Rice vs. Texas THEME... Selling Out ANNOUNCER: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Today's BMC Software Bayou City Shootout halftime is brought to you by the new UT Cheerleader Barbie. She jumps! She kicks! She bags lots of Darrell Royalties for the Athletic Department. She even cheers when everyone leaves the stadium early... ACTION:
During the script, a burnt-orange-clad Barbie "cheers"
enthusiastically at the 50 yard line. She is tackled
and carried off by someone in a bear costume, wearing a
UCLA shirt. The MOB scatters
into... FORMATION:
$$ CADENCE: GO RICE! ANNOUNCER:
So - you went to the Fiesta Bowl and still lost money?
Luxury suites only bringing in a few million? Increase your bottom
line like the pros - sell every seat twice - with
Personal Seat Licenses. You think
only an Aggie would pay for the same seat
twice? Au contraire!
Sooner or later you will too -
don't let the Sooners beat you to it...
MUSIC:
Money for Nothing
ACTION:
Athletic Department types wheel a fully-appointed luxury
box (including a chef cooking at the back) onto the field;
wealthy fans produce large wads of cash for the privilege
of sitting in the box and watching like Ceasar in the
Colosseum as other SAs race through formation, tearing
"seat-licenses" off the bottoms of the MOB as they play.
Much rejoicing for those that get the most and possible
battles between the "haves" and the "have-nots"; song
ends and MOB scatters to... FORMATION:
WOOF ANNOUNCER:
The Aggies are building luxury boxes, but construction was
recently delayed when former Reveilles had to be asked to
go somewhere else... to play
dead.
MUSIC:
Dead Dog
ACTION: Aggies dragging dead dogs around with full military honors; MOB morphs to MOOO after "play dead"... FORMATION:
MOOO ANNOUNCER: Which leads us to this - does Bevo add to revenues, after he fades into the burnt orange sunset? At thirty nine thousand dollars per pound, you bet he does! Bevo - it's what's for dinner! MUSIC:
Hoe-Down (from
Copland's Rodeo)
ACTION:
A pantomime Bevo pursued by the chef (carrying a very large
axe) from the luxury box (earlier); song ends and MOB
scatters to... FORMATION: RICH ANNOUNCER: Now that you've sold out, all you can do is wait and hope that your stadium will too. Let's review - Raised ticket prices... MOB:
CHECK! ANNOUNCER:
Built luxury suites... MOB:
CHECK! ANNOUNCER:
Scoreboard plays commercials over "The Eyes of Texas"... MOB:
CHECK! ANNOUNCER:
Winning all your home games... MOB:
D'oh!
MUSIC:
Free Ride
ACTION:
Football players stage a game between UT and Rutgers. The
Barbie doll is back on the sidelines cheering. Then the
bear runs out and tackles her again. Then it wades into the
football game and tackles both teams. Then, if time
permitting, it goes and tackles the woodwinds; song ends,
MOB scatters to... FORMATION:
RI(owlogo)CE ANNOUNCER: But, unlike a giant money-factory state school, Rice would never sell out. We take pride in the ideals of amateur college athletics, free from the shameless commercialization practiced by others. (scatter for sideline) Thank you, from the 1997 Quaker Oats Minute RICE MARCHING Greenpeace Save the Spotted OWL Officemax Rubber BAND. ACTION:
At the scatter, the "Your Name Here" sign is unrolled; bear
chases Barbie across the field again, toward the Press
Box... SCOREBOARD:
1997 EXIT:
flee MUSIC:
Louie2 (after we clear the field) NOTE: DO NOT EAT THIS SENTENCE |
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