Miss Red battles Michigan by being "fucked off"

The cold and rain did not deter a fucked off Miss Red from redeeming herself against the Michigan State women's team on Wednesday, March 5.

Rice pounded out ahead with tight D and slick flow. "It was the D that made this game," said Coach Katey. Miss Red only allowed Michigan to score 5 points throughout the game. This was a distinct turnaround from their loss to Michigan this past Sunday, March 2, with a score of Michigan 8, Rice 4.

Sid Richardson Senior and field captain Emily Zitek contributed heavily to the defense by adeptly shutting down former track runner Popper Captain. "She just fucked me off," Zitek explained. "I had to show her who the real woman was."

Rice took half with a score of 7 to 2 but seemed to lose some momentum shortly after half when Michigan scored twice bringing Miss Red's lead down to 4 points. Lovett College junior Julia Baumann was consistently open but said she couldn't find any continuations down the field to keep the flow going. "The team was cutting off its own flow by not clearing away from the disc. We just needed to get a bit more fucked off."

Miss Red maintained her composure and finally brought the game to a close with a score of 13 to 5. Sid Richardson junior and team rookie Tina Kim finished the game covered in mud. "I was so fucked off, I had to bid for everything. Nothing takes care of my fucked off-ed ness than hitting the ground for discs."

Another rookie had a similar comment. Lovett College junior Kris Tucker held onto an amazing catch by staying with it after the wet disc slipped out of her hands. She too related this performance to being fucked off. "The way [Michigan] looked and played, it just, well, if fucked me off. I wasn't going to let go off the disc and let them have the turn, especially after being so fucked off."

Sid Richardson College senior and field captain Arwen Johnson said she was proud of her team. "All that we needed was to get fucked off."

Miss Red is looking forward to a fucked off season with two tournaments, Hucking for Love and Centex, during Spring recess. The team will follow up these performances with a show at the Joint Summit Classic in South Carolina in late March. Coach Katey said, "We're looking forward to a fucking good season."