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| | Andrew Traverso |
| Names: | Princess, T-Vo |
| Status: | Senior |
| Age: | 22 |
| Height: | 5'10 |
| Bio 06: | The music blares, and out of the darkness you fall into a strange world of pastel colors and horrible pixilation. Before you stretches a brown brick road, behind you the sky shines a brilliant blue. You take a few tentative steps forward and notice a strange shape on the horizon moving towards you. As it approaches, you see that it is a mushroom, its face contorted in fury. But you are unafraid, and as it wobbles relentlessly towards you a smirk appears beneath your bushy, black moustache. You leap! Up, up, up! And as you come down upon the brute’s unsuspecting head, he flattens beneath you and coins spill forth from his battered corpse. Grabbing them, you begin to run. Trees flash past you; the sky and its strangely monotonous clouds become a blur. A stupid-looking turtle tries to block your path, but you sail through the air and come down on him like a cement brick. Like the very wrath of God, bludgeoning him into submission. You grab his lifeless shell and sprint on. A group of mushrooms lines up to thwart you, but you hurl your turtle shell and send them flying out of your path. As you race forward, your red hat soaked in sweat, a brick fortress appears on the horizon, its spires reaching towards the heavens. A turtle darts in front of you and hurls his boomerang, but with a burst of speed you dodge his weapon and plunge onwards. The taste of victory fills your mouth, your goal looms before you, and you launch yourself forward into a full-extension layout, grasping the castle’s flag pole with a cry of triumph. You lower your foe’s flag and storm the citadel. Sorry Mario, Traverso is in another castle.
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| Bio 05: | Traverso spent most of his early life running from the law after the 1987 serial rape and murder of 4 preschool classmates. The class' teacher, 25 year-old Ms. Elizabeth Hagen, who received several stab wounds and a gunshot wound to the left arm, said of the attack: "Overall, I would have to call it satisfactory." She went on to elaborate: "His penmanship in the threatening letters we received in the weeks leading up to the attack was below average and his repetition of quotations from the Decameron lacked the kind of creativity that we try to foster in our students. His marksmanship was perhaps his weakest area... in fact, I have talked to his parents about holding him back a year if his aim doesn't improve in the coming months. On the positive side, he exceeded expectations in his ability to plan, and certainly scored points for audacity in his timing. Instead of waiting until nap time he staged the attack during finger painting. It was a complete surprise."
After years on the run Traverso settled down at Georgia Tech, where he began his ultimate career. Within several weeks of his arrival, however, he started to rub GA Tech standout Robert Graham the wrong way. When asked what bothered him most about Traverso, Graham responded: "Well, I guess it was mostly the way that he started like stalking my girlfriend. That, and he showers for a long time. Mostly the girlfriend thing though. He'd steal the pictures of her out of my wallet during EVERY practice." After a while at GA Tech, Traverso finally decided that he needed to show Annie that he was serious about having a stalking relationship with her and transfered to Rice. For the last couple years here he's divided his time evenly between trying to impress Annie, mainly by passing out while doing kegs stands, skipping team runs to go climbing, and, just to be safe, majoring in everything to throw the law off his tracks. Sometimes he does cool stuff on the field, but usually he's too busy stalking freshmen. |
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