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| | Adam Ginsburg |
| Status: | Graduated Early |
| Age: | 20 |
| Height: | 5'8 |
| Bio 06: | Adam Ginsburg is...
· like a skinny whale
· the basis for the board game KosherLand
· the hottest lay I never had
· permanently expelled from Colorado for corrupting the youth
· the father and son of Bruce Willis
· the last living descendant of the hunter Orion
· the result of an accident involving nuclear waste and Mary Tyler Moore
· the son of a much-loved woman
· the tooth fairy
· the United States ambassador to Belarus
· the reincarnation of Joan of Arc
· the pinkest flamingo south of the Mason-Dixon Line
· the inverse of Wilt Chamberlain
· G to the e
· the militant wing of the IRS
· the last angry Jew
· the last digit of pi
· the 40-year-old virgin
· deep inside all of us
· full of bub
· the owner of a hobo penis
· not nearly as awesome as that guy who gave us all pub wristbands tonight
Furthermore, Adam Ginsberg...
· love me long time.
· shaves cats and makes coats out of the fur to attract women. But all he attracts are fleas.
· likes it hot.
· runs a 4-minute mile underwater.
· has been very, very good to me.
And in conclusion...
Some people pee standing up. Some people pee sitting down. Adam Ginsburg pees sideways.
Ginsburg's Comment: "Actually, that's not true. I prefer the cold."
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| Bio 05: | Yeah, that's right, as the guy making this site, I get to pretend I'm totally badass until someone comes up with something better to write here. Though that is admittedly a very awkward looking patch of dirt. Oh, and I win the overall and practice attendance awards. |
| Bio 04: | Chipotle and Underarmour. Underarmour and Chipotle. If it's possible to define a person by just two things, then sex and vodka are Adam Ginsberg's defining characteristics. He likes it quick, cheap, and to go down rough. But we try not to think of him in such limiting terms. Instead of seeing him as a Jew, or the guy who almost cares as much about running as Pascal, or the pussy that still won't layout, he's the guy with the wardrobe containing 2 kinds of items and the menu (for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!) consisting of 1 item. If he could (and he's tried, believe us!), he would have his Chipotle shirts made out of Underarmour with his "menu" printed on the back. He has tried to combine the two in other ways: once he offered to show some frosh on the women's team the burrito under his armour. This kid is crazy. He says he's going to "lighten" his course load to 17 units so he can go work for Chipotle. Notice he didn't say, "so I can play more ultimate". Just where are this boy's priorities? Where did his parents go wrong? |
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