Holiday Inn Crown Plaza

ANNOUNCER: In the begining there was football. And the Lord said "I shall divide football games into halves." And between those halves there was a void, without form or entertainment. So the Lord said "Let there be Marching Bands!" And it was good. And the years and the bands marched by. A second void formed, in the minds of the fans, for they were bored . And lo, in 1970, there appeared a special group of entertainers to fill this void. The group was called the MOB. And it was great .

MUSIC: EVERYBODY'S EVERYTHING

ANNOUNCER: The MOB would like to welcome Fred Goldsmith to his new job as Head Coach of the Rice Owls with our annual salute to the new coach. In his debut as head coach of the Fighting Owls, Fred took the team to first place in the Southwest Conference.

We like that. And we hope he'll stay .

MUSIC: Stay

ANNOUNCER: News flash! Beep-a-deep-a-deep...

An unexplained increase in pilot errors has forced the FAA to send all airline pilots back to school to take a crash course... In an attempt to avoid future lawsuits,

extremely unlucky Delta Airlines has changed its slogan to: "DELTA - LOOK OUT FOR US." For your safety the MOB suggests that you always obey the stewardess when told to "assume the position."

MUSIC: Wipe Out

ANNOUNCER: Holy Toledo sports fans, the baseball season is winding up and the Astros aren't racing for home -- they're sliding into third .

We'd like to take this time to remind you of some other

things from baseball's past:

Cy Young

Babe Ruth

day games

grass

pitchers that hit

Pete Rose

But you can bet that some things will never change.

Things like: sign language {pause}

spitting {pause}

scratching

MUSIC: Batman

ANNOUNCER: The MOB is a disciplined group of scholar-musicians who managed to avoid the notorious Marching Band Note-Shaving Scandals of the recent past. Yes, the MOB is a paragon of virtue. When school officials expressed concern about the MOB doing halftime tonight, at a hotel, where beer and spirits would flow freely, the MOBsters voted to go straight back to Rice after halftime -- and study .

MOB: NO!

MUSIC: TEQUILA

Announcer: ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION... The MOB is preparing to play the BIG TUNE, please extinguish all fires and return yourselves to the upright and locked position... The show you are about to see contains scenes so graphic...

MOB: HOW GRAPHIC IS IT?

Announcer: It's SO graphic that parents are advised to videotape it for children who are not able to see it in person.

MUSIC: Shout

ANNOUNCER: Surgeon General's WARNING: Frequent exposure to the

MOB may be hazardous to your health. This product contains unintelligible lyrics which have been determined to cause cancer in laboratory animals and brain damage in party animals.

ANNOUNCER: And now a message on behalf of Brown and Root for this,

the 40th year of Rice Stadium: {Red Duke voice}

While other universities have banned the playing of

LOUIE LOUIE because of troubles with their stadiums, we assure you that Rice Stadium can take any

gy-rations and un-due-lations ya'll can dish out. Go to it.

MUSIC: LOUIE[2]