LAMAR '87

MOB is in endzone and sidelines

ANNOUNCER: Before we begin tonight's show, we'd like everyone to please rise as we honor the memory of those who, since last year, are no longer with us: Fred Akers, Joan Collins' marriage, the Shamrock Hilton, the Lamar University band,

Dr. Robert Jones, and a beer for the road.

May they rest in peace. (long pause)

Oh...wait ....(pause) and SMU football.

You may be seated.

ACTION: SAs roll Randolph out on a gurney, covered in medical type garb to mid-field. Also have enormous DieHard battery there with equally enormous, and obvious, defibrillator paddles connected to the battery by huge wires (air- compressor coiled hoses). Somehow, we provide typical EKG/heart-rate monitor "beeping" noises, with a prolonged "beeeeeeeep" indicating no beat.

Tubas are standing around the body, looking concerned and anxious, like worried family members. Drums are out on field too.

SCOREBOARD: EKG trace if possible.

ANNOUNCER: Dateline: Houston. Home of the famous Texas Medical Center - where hearts that have stopped are routinely restarted every day. We're their neighbor, Rice University. And here before you tonight the MOB will attempt a far more difficult feat: to resuscitate the apathetic Rice student body.

ACTION: With pronounced de-fib action, the SAs attempt to get the

season jump started. On the third or fourth try, Randolph's arm rises up from the gurney with the COWBELL, firmly grasped, to start us into LOUIE, LOUIE.

MUSIC: LOUIE, LOUIE (Tubas start after Cowbell and the MOB comes out of the tunnel playing, to form...)

FORMATION: MOB changes to PTL

ANNOUNCER: Politics makes for strange bedfellows. PTL head

Jim Bakker showed that even strange evangelists can bed

their fellows. Payments of hush money and Tammy's blush money drove his ministry into bankruptcy, and now Bakker finds himself in the air-conditioned doghouse. Reduced to shopping at K-Mart, Jim and Tammy found out that the wage of sin is DEBT.

MUSIC: SHAKEDOWN

FORMATION: PTL changes to $$ during music

ACTION: ???

FORMATION: Blob with a palm tree and a Nicaraguan flag

ANNOUNCER: THIS is Nicaragua, home of the Contras. As you may have

heard, someone in Reagan's camp sent the Contras money.

(scatter)

ANNOUNCER: Congress wanted to find out who it was, and pointed toward a very magnetic North, but they couldn't find a shred of evidence against him. The press Fawned all over him, and even though we lost our soaps, it was all good clean fun. However, as his popularity grew, so did his nose...

MUSIC: La BAMBA

FORMATION: changes to a profile of a face with a nose that grows...

FORMATION: HART

ANNOUNCER: Tonight marks the opening of Rice's football season, but it's always open season in politics. Gary Hart was the Democratic front runner for president until he engaged in a little bit of Monkey Business. The man who couldn't remember his last name, his age or where he slept the night before will never forget what the Owls' gridiron opponents will learn this year: Don't mess with Rice.

MUSIC: GIMME SOME LOVIN'

FORMATION: Changes to RICE

ANNOUNCER: The Beach...Suntans...Summer... Over...Classes...eight o'clocks...Diffy-Q...eight-o'clock-Diffy-Q...Dinner...Joyce?...

Alka-Seltzer...Pizza...Aaahhhh...Football...The MOB...Party...

Toga...Otis...M'Man...SHOUT!

MUSIC: SHOUT

FORMATION: SHOUT routine formation

CLOSING: BONNET off the field