The Environment

ENTRANCE: MOB scatters into EARTH

ANNOUNCER: In the beginning, there was the planet Earth, and all of

Nature lived in perfect harmony... Then came -- MAN.

MUSIC: Also sprach Zarathustra [2001]

ANNOUNCER: It was one small planet for a Man, one giant HEAP for Mankind.

during the announcement, formation changes to:

FORMATION: TRASH

MUSIC: Phantom

music ends and MOB scatters to

FORMATION: Frizzy Girl

ANNOUNCER: WARNING: Tonight's show contains graphic descriptions which may be too intense for some viewers. Now, strap on your gas masks, as the MOB takes a look at our environment.

MOB SCREAMS

ACTION: MOB pulls on masks

ANNOUNCER: Chicken Little was right... the sky is falling. With the Ozone Layer quickly disappearing, getting a tan will soon be a lot easier, if you don't mind genetic mutation. But, after years of research, the EPA has finally found the cause of this damage, and has declared Sorority Row

a Hazardous Waste Area for using more hairspray than most Third World countries.

MUSIC: HEY BABY during song the formation changes to real

hair...

music ends and MOB scatters to

FORMATION: Turtle

ANNOUNCER: The shrimpers of the gulf Coast are helping to clean up our oceans by getting rid of all those nasty sea turtles. Some folks don't like that and demand the use of Turtle Excluder Devices. This idea is nothing new - any Longhorn can tell you about the Aggie Excluder Device -- the S. -- A. -- T.

MUSIC: Wild Thing

music ends and MOB scatters to:

FORMATION: Tanker

ANNOUNCER: And now a riddle: How much oil can you spill from one bottle of liquor? For the answer, just ask the captain of the Exxon Valdeez -- he gave Alaska its own unique drink:

Tanqueray on the rocks.

The Federal Government did what it could. When President Bush heard that birds were dying in Alaska, he sent Dan Quayle to investigate. But it didn't work --

he came back.

MUSIC: Tequila - Wipe Out

music ends and MOB scatters to:

FORMATION: Peace symbol

ANNOUNCER: When we were kids, our parents told us to clean up after ourselves. Today we learn... don't mess with Texas! Whether it's Love Canal, Prince William Sound, or even the Treaty Oak, the message is still the same:

It's not nice to foul Mother Nature.

MUSIC: Joy to the World with vocal

EPILOGUE: 57,000 people. Awesomely loud sound system. MOB played over tail end of "...one giant heap for mankind." Big reaction for the "sorority row" joke. S.A.T. joke went well. Just about everything but the last joke worked.

We were winning 17 - 10 at halftime. We were leading until 4:55 was left. We lost 31 -30. Whimper...