ANNOUNCER: For its first 150 years, Texas was on top of the world. Life was good in the Lone Star State, and many thought the prosperity, like Darrell Royal, would last forever...

MUSIC: CELEBRATION

ACTION: Texas type prosperity and fun, oil derrick and oil pump

ANNOUNCER: Then came Akers... and acres of trouble. A calamity so frightening that it made children scream , women swoon, and grown men pass out naked in the backyard. For the first time, Texas faced the unthinkable: Lots of oil -- and NO MONEY. The worst depression since the closing of the Chicken Ranch.

MUSIC: Texas has a whorehouse in it! first phrase

ANNOUNCER: Texas has a deficit in it! (same rhythm as in song)

MUSIC: PISSANT

SCENE: The pissant routine...

at the end of the song change to pre-UT

ANNOUNCER: The State Legislature was called into special session to solve our money problems. They answered the big questions as only THEY can: Who's to blame for this?

MOB: HE IS! (point at each other)

ANNOUNCER: Who's going to pay for this?

MOB: YOU ARE! (point at crowd)

ANNOUNCER: In this way the legislature passed many bills -----

on to you. (keep going on next page...)

ANNOUNCER: In searching for the quick fix, Gib Lewis, Speaker of the Texas House, announced that he had found --- within the state, --- an enormous, -- untapped, -- pool - of pure money:

...the Permanent University Fund. ( snap to "U T" formation)

But you were not amused.

MUSIC: WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION

SCENE: Hooded figure of Death uses scythe to destroy school-type objects. Cap and Gown clad beings attack and kill Death. At end of song MOB scatters to racetrack formation...

read during the scatter...

ANNOUNCER: The problem of finding a source of money remained. The Aggies thought they had the answer when they planted a stick and a dollar bill into the ground, and watched hopefully. But no one had the heart to tell them that money doesn't grow on trees.

we get to the racetrack formation...KEEP READING

The Legislature thinks a dog and pony show can raise money. Horseracing may be a gamble, but it's a safe bet that State Government has already gone to the dogs

MUSIC: RACETRACK FANFARE, and then first phrase of WILLIAM TELL ( gracefully...)

ANNOUNCER: Be vewwy, vewwy quiet - we'ah hunting wabbits!

(loudly, in the style of Elmer J. Fudd)

MUSIC: rest of WILLIAM TELL

SCENE: various stuffed characters chase playboy bunnies around track;

at end of WILLIAM TELL, MOB bows to audience

ANNOUNCER: The federal government has a great way to make money: they print it. They tend to get somewhat upset when someone else tries this. The MOB offers a simple solution that lets us roll our own: SECEDE. Yeah, that's the ticket...

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the new

National Anthem of Texas...

MUSIC: LOUIE LOUIE

SCENE: MOB boogies off field during song to sideline