Rice
Vs. Houston
September
2, 2000
Summer
Recap
Rice
Stadium
MOB:
GO
RICE!
FORMATION:
BORE
ANNOUNCER:
It's the year 2000,
and that means another Presidential election.
The conventions were on every network, but nobody
bothered to watch. I they want to boost
their ratings, they should take a cue from "Survivor".
Wouldn't you tune in to see George Dubya and Al Gore eat rats?
MUSIC:
Cheeseburger in Paradise
ACTION:
George
W. Bush and Al Gore, wearing bibs and brandishing large forks, chase rats around
the field. Other SAs engage in other Survivor-type activities. Some SAs
should be carrying political signs. Rats will be eaten.
FORMATION:
A
first-quadrant graph, with a sharply-downward-sloping line.
ANNOUNCER:
Internet startup
companies fueled a huge boom in the stock
market this year. Dot-com CEOs
became billionares overnight. But,
the boom came to a crashing halt when
investors figured out that most dot-coms don't actually do
anything. Nowadays, when you hear a dot-com CEO,
he's probably asking "Would you like fries with that?"
MUSIC:
Money for Nothing (start at the fast section)
ACTION:
Dot-com
CEO works away at giant computer, with sign saying www.coogarhigh.com, playing
with his huge money, when suddenly people come and take away his computer and
money, hand him a MickeyD's uniform and giant french fries. Song ends and MOB
scatters to...
FORMATION:
Airplane
ANNOUNCER:
It's been a rough
year for the airlines. Passengers
are increasingly unhappy as cancellations, delays, and full flights have made
the skies a lot less friendly.
The airlines hope to win people back
with lower fares. Seems they got a
good deal on some Firestone tires...
MUSIC:
Airplane
Medley (fast section at the end)
ACTION:
Motionless
plane waits on runway (for variety's sake, don't make it a box on wheels, since
it won't have to move except to be carried onto the field. Try to capture a more
non-boxy airplane shape). Passengers sit around sadly beneath a GIAGANTIC,
TICKING CLOCK with a red segment saying "Hours waited so far".
Passengers are vividly bored (yes
it is possible. Synchronized elbow-leaning works well). Pilots play cards and
occasionally sneer at the waiting passengers.
Toward end of song, sign drops over clock saying "Flight
Cancelled". A massive riot ensues in which clock, plane and pilots are all
utterly destroyed by outraged passengers. Song ends and MOB
scatters to...
FORMATION:
baseball
diamond
ANNOUNCER:
It's been an
exciting summer for local sports. The
Comets won their fourth WNBA
title. The
Bellaire All-Stars are the national
Little League champs. And the Astros, despite the bells and whistles of a
new stadium, well, let's just say they wouldn't have even qualified
for the Little League championships…
MUSIC:
Take Me Out to the Ballgame
ACTION:
The
Bellaire team will be on the field and will help drive the train, running over
Astros players in the process
MUSIC:
Louie^2
EXUENT
ANNOUNCER:
Rice people
and Rice money built Rice Stadium.
No taxes, no referenda, and no Robert Eckels.
With alumni donations and George R. Brown, Rice Stadium was built in only
one year. And on it's 50th
birthday, it's still the best place in Houston for watching football.