September 29, 1990

Entrance:

Formation: JAIL

Announcer: The country - America. Lots of people. Some famous. Some not. What happens when somebody famous commits a deed that society considers naughty? Doe they lose prestige?

MOB: NO !

Announcer: Do they go to jail?

MOB: NO !

Announcer: You're right, and that's where I come in...

Music: Dragnet (Dum-da-dum-dummm)

Announcer: I'm a reporter. I report the facts ----- just the facts

Music: Dragnet (Dum-da-dum-dum-dahhhh)

Action: music ends and MOB scatters to...

Formation: SLAP

Announcer: Summer 1990. Once worth millions, now scorned by millions, Leona Helmsley used to rule New York with an iron fist. But the self-proclaimed Queen of the Hotel Industry was transformed by a simple mistake by her accountant into the Queen of Mean. She asked Neil Bush for a loan, but he was being bailed out himself. Then she asked Clayton Williams for help, but he just had some advice for the inevitable trial: relax and enjoy it.

Music: Big Girls Don't Cry

Action: music ends and MOB scatters to...

Formation: Handcuffs

Announcer: 6:25pm, August 12. Zsa Zsa Gabor, one of Hollywood's bleached-blonde has-beens, created undeserved headlines by slapping a policeman. She was in a bad mood after having learned that her Hollywood Squares contract had been cancelled. Fortunately, this scuffle gave her the one thing she needed to boost her career: top billing in the National Enquirer.

Music: I Shot the Sheriff

Action: music ends and MOB scatters to...

Formation: Heart

Announcer: Spring 1990. Donald Trump, once an envied billionaire, is now besieged with financial and moral difficulties. When Marla went public and Ivana told Donald she wanted half , all the cards were on the table. Donald bit two hearts, and Ivana raised him 3 diamonds, but she was trumped . But Donald found that women can't be swapped like hotels: when you trade up to a newer model you still have to pay rent on the old one.

Music: Can't Buy Me Love

Action: formation changes to $

music ends and MOB scatters to...

Formation: Baseball Diamond

Announcer: Spring 1990. Pete Rose, hero to millions. To his baseball fans he was known as Charlie Hustle, but to the baseball commissioner he was just a hustler. But why bother with titles, when a Rose by any other name would smell as corrupt? And after the FBI caught him betting on everything from the Run for the Roses to the Rose Bowl, he fouled out in court. With the miracles of P-R, we can rest assured that he'll come out smelling like, well, you know...

Music: Gambler

Action: ?

music ends and MOB scatters to...

Announcer: Due to jail overcrowding, all of these morally corrupt individuals will receive early release from their prisons. Zsa Zsa now stars in denture commercials, Pete Rose runs a Gambler's Anonymous chapter, Donald Trump hosts Divorce Court, and Leona Helmsley is foreign relations advisor to Saddam Hussein. So have they paid for their mistakes? You be the judge...