Rice Vs. Navy

September 25, 1999

Rice Stadium

MOB: GO RICE!

FORMATION: Hourglass

ANNOUNCER: As the year 2000 approaches, concern is mounting about the

Y2K bug, which may cause computers after New Year's to

believe it is actually the year 1900. As part of Rice

University's Y2K preparedness plan, the MOB will now test

its Y2K-compliance by setting our clocks forward to New

Year's Day, 2000.

MUSIC: Time Warp [Either 1:05 or 2:05, depending on cut]

FORMATION: Sand runs down through the hourglass.

ACTION: Modern-looking student sits at a desk with a modern

computer. Desk is decorated with lamp, etc. At some

suitable point in the song, SA helpers (bugs?) come out and

convert the computer to typewriter, decorate desk in

Victorian style, dress up student in 1900 clothes, etc;

song ends and MOB scatters to

FORMATION: OLD

ANNOUNCER: Done! It's now the year two th-- SKKRTT! SKRRZZ!

ANNOUNCER2: 1900 and welcome to the first MOB show of the twentieth

century! In the news, the Dow Jones average climbed to an

astonishing 65 points! Thousands moved to Hollywood

seeking rich farmland. And Congress introduced new

regulations requiring all horseless carriages to be

equipped with steering wheels by the year 1905!

MUSIC: Put On Your Old Grey Bonnet

[:22, but can add repeats]

ACTION: Show Assistants in full period costume enact a pleasant

picnic scene that could be found in any impressionist

painting. A Model-T car comes careering into the scene,

without a steering wheel, turning the cheery scene into a

spectacle of hideous carnage; song ends and MOB scatters

to

FORMATION: Sailing Ship

ANNOUNCER2: The recriminations continued over the recent spy scandal

when it was learned that senior naval file clerk Willard

Frogmorton had been secretly selling classified Navy

steamship blueprints to the dastardly Spaniards for the

past 20 years. "This is a severe leak," a Navy spokesman

said, "since it is impossible that any new invention will

ever surpass the mighty power of steam."

MUSIC: Naval Disaster Medley (Anchors Away -> Wipeout) [1:30]

ACTION: Near the North endzone, two ships do battle. One ship is a

Spanish marauder. The other hails from the U.S. The battle

is comical, as the ships cannot defeat one another, despite

being only yards apart. The U.S. ship is clearly labeled

"Old Navy", part of the "Performance Fleet", and its

occupants dance joyously as their performance fleece allows

them added confidence. At some point during the music, a

torpedo labeled "New Navy" launches from the tunnel,

cruising the length of the field and destroying the Spanish

ship; song ends and MOB scatters to

FORMATION: 1900

ANNOUNCER2: This concludes the MOB's test of its Y-one-point-9-K

compliance. We will now return to our normal operation,

secure in the knowledge that all systems are GO!

MUSIC: Power of Love [60]

FORMATION: 1963

ACTION: SA's revert to modern clothing. There will be something

more here. (Currently under SA discussion)

ANNOUNCER: Well, we're back, and on our way from 1900 we stopped in

1963, when Rice was fun easy-going and free

In 1963 we picked up a blast from the past --

Ladies and Gentlemen, will you please rise for the singing

of Louie, Louie, under the direction of Dr. Robert Cesario,

and featuring our special guests --

The Kingsmen!

MUSIC: Louie with Kingsmen. [2:00 or so]

ANNOUNCER2: Be sure to return for the MOB's next performance, a

fortnight hence!

NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS SENTENCE