Uniform - Notre Dame T-shirt, shorts.

FORMATION: powerful thing

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, a moment of silence please in honor of the Texas A & M Football Program.

[NO! TODAY is Pearl Harbor Day!]

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! Because of the Writer's Guild strike, this halftime newscast is a re-run of things you've already seen.

bee-de-de-deep dit-a-dit-deep...

In the news: Dan Quayle in two campaigns: running for office and advertising the National Guard: they're looking for a few scared men. Sports up next, but first a glimpse at the weather and the eroding ozone layer...

Summer isn't quite through with us yet...

MUSIC: SUMMERTIME

FORMATION: changes to MOB

at end of song, changes to Basketball Court

ANNOUNCER: Now for Bubba with the sports. (with A&M announcer voice):

Football is big in Texas, but it's nothing compared to basketball in Indiana. And it's biggest at the

University of Indiana. In fact, it's sooooooo big...

MOB: HOW BIG IS IT?

ANNOUNCER: It's sooooo big that Bobby Knight has been offered an endowed chair, just as long as it's nailed to the floor.

MUSIC: BIG GIRLS (they don't cry-y-y)

ACTION: Bobby Knight bit with rubber chairs for musical chairs

FORMATION: SEOUL

MUSIC: OLYMPIC FANFARE

ANNOUNCER: The U.S. Olympic Team is in Seoul, South Korea, with the help of thousands of individuals and corporations. The Korean culture is quite different from that here, and the Americans were surprised to find that a certain very cool dog was no longer advertising beer, for the difference in cultures and tastes had placed him in great demand as:

The Official Snack Food(TM) Of The 1988 Summer Olympics...

Go... Spuds... Go...

MUSIC: SOUL MAN

FORMATION: bunch o' lines

ANNOUNCER: Much of our nation has suffered a serious drought this year. But with the onset of cooler weather, the rains will fall

again. This won't revive parched crops, but it will mix with the dust to a form an election year crop - MUD...

Twenty years ago today: Nixon and Humphrey slung mud at each other. Today, Bush and Dukakis sling mud at each other. Twenty years from today, the team of John F. Kennedy Jr. and Pee Wee Herman will sling mud at their opponents, Chuck Norris and Andy Karsner.

MUSIC: TIME WARP

ACTION: dance to the Time Warp again...

FORMATION: WILLY

ANNOUNCER: And locally, at Rice University, on the evening of April 12th,

founder William Marsh Rice sat where he has for decades, watching over Lovett Hall. During the night, a team of students turned him toward Fondren Library and hemissed his first sunrise in fifty years. The Administration had him turned back before noon. Poor Willy: couldn't he get to see just one golden sunset ?

MUSIC: RICE'S HONOR

Statue bit - Willy trotted out and then turned around to finally stand up with cowbell at the end.

MUSIC: LOUIE LOUIE