Rice vs. Baylor (Nov. 12, 1994)

FORMATION: peace sign

SCRIPT: Drugs.  Hallucinogens.  Controlled substances.  What do these
things have to do with Rice and Baylor?  Well, in 1965, Rice beat
Texas.  For the last time ever?  Don't be stupid.  And that very same
year, Baylor conducted secret experiments on LSD.  While the drug
didn't have any horrible side effects like making people dance, it did
send a Baylor coed on a trip through the imagination.  The MOB is
proud to present: ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN BAYLORLAND

MUSIC: Hip to be Square

FORMATION: ABC

SCRIPT: Our story begins when Alice entered the biology lab and saw
some mushrooms fresh in from College Station.  They were labelled,
"Eat me."  So she did, and suddenly she was eight feet tall.  So Alice
tried out for the Baylor basketball team, but she wasn't the type of
player the coaches wanted: she had earned all of her college credits.

MUSIC: Proud Mary

FORMATION: script "beer"

SCRIPT: Alice sued Baylor for discrimination and won millions.  She
decided to celebrate, but how?  A toga party would be too sinful for
Baylor, a Tupperware party would be boring, and a democratic party
would be horribly unpopular.  Alice thought of the beverage of choice
among college students everywhere.  [ MOB: BEER! ]  But there was a
big problem...

MUSIC: No Beer w/ vocal "At Baylor there is no beer . . ."

FORMATION: marching form

SCRIPT: So Alice had a tea party, and saw a horrible sight.  Two of
the guests were Aggies: Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber.  So she swore
never to hallucinate again.  Which brings us to the moral of our
story: If someone offers you drugs, you should do the same thing the
MOB did when the administration told us to be a normal marching band:

MUSIC: Stars and Stripes (intro only, hold last note)

MOB: JUST SAY NO!!

MUSIC: Louie Louie [ & exit ]