Introduction

Idea: Establish the premise

Formation: Some generic power formation

Script: It's that time again... That strange season, one that occurs only once every four years. The skies grow dark -- is it a horde of locusts? No, it's... flying mud! That droning sound -- is it enemy airplanes about to attack? No, it's... campaign slogans! That awful smell in the air -- is it dirty socks? No, it's... politics! All this can mean only one thing -- it's Presidential Election Season! We hope you've put up your storm windows...

Action: The usual set-up of any show

Music: "Hail To The Chief" :15

Gender Gap

Idea: Sex as a metahpor for getting female votes

Formation: Male/Female Symbols

Script: The 1988 Presidential Campaign sees candidates trying harder than ever to go after women. Why, just ask Gary Hart. (Rim shot) Women voters become more and more important as the "Gender Gap" grows wide. But which political party will best take advantage of their female members? Many think the Democrats can really beat Bush on this issue. But the Republicans have Dan Quayle. And women love a man in uniform...

Action: Grab-Fanny

Music: "Good Loving" 1:15

Pledge of Allegiance/Patriotism

Idea: Get the Aggies "into" the show

Formation: Flag (use red & white streamers and stars) or "U S A"

Script: As we all know, this has been a campaign of real issues. Even so, it's nice to know that both candidates will stand behind the American flag. And in front of it. And next to it. And wrapped inside it. Especially in front of the TV cameras. It serves to remind us of what we learned in grade school - that anyone can grow up to be President. The MOB now invites you to stand up with us as we all show that we're as qualified as anyone to run this great country. All you have to do is say the Pledge. (pause) Ready? Begin... (Crowd says Pledge) (as an aside: "See? I told you I could get them to do it!")

Deficit/Taxes

Idea: Get the Aggies to yell "Bull-shit!" They love that.

Formation: "I R S"

Script: All the talk we hear about the federal budget can be very confusing. So, as a public service, the MOB presents this helpful tip. When a candidate says "I will not raise taxes," it means "I will raise the deficit." When a candidate says, "I will not raise the deficit," it means "I will raise taxes." It's that simple! And remember, you know where the money comes from. So the next time you hear a politician promise, "No New Taxes" or "Lower The Deficit," you'll know what to say.

Action: IRS Screws applied with Reckless Abandon to Unsuspecting Citizens

Music: "Cotton-Eyed Joe" 1:15

Finale

Idea: Wrap-Up

Formation: "P A R T Y" or "S H O U T" or Just get the Hell off the Field

Script: What more can be said about a Presidential campaign whose most well-known slogan is "We're in deep doo-doo"? So remember that on November 8, when you walk away from that voting booth, that there'll be no more flying mud, no more campaign slogans, no more politics. Your months of frustration will be over, for better or worse. And it'll \be enough to make you... shout!

Action: General Uncontrollable Mayhem - get off the field

Music: "Shout" 1:30