Wait! That's Not What I Meant! & Other Tropes

 

• "Don Cherry was a pioneer in the world of music and his daughter is no less of a slouch." (KPFT radio, Houston, TX. 2:05PM, 5/11/05.)
  Note: It seems that sometimes it just does not pay to be first.
  
  
• "Service Unexcelled" (Company motto written on the sides of all trucks belonging to Southwest Motor Freight.)
  Note: Some are just inveterate slackers.
  
  
• "Quality is the only option." (Advertising incentive for Gramercy Park Condominiums, Kirby Dr., Houston, TX)
  Note: I'll have it without, please.
  
  
• "Unfortunately, you have to take the good with the bad sometimes." (Bertrand Simmons, president of Texas State University's Metropolitan Houston alumni chapter commenting on a state audit of TSU's alleged mismanagement of its endowment funds. (Houston Chronicle, August 17, 2006, page A6.)
  Note: That is just perverse.
  
  
• "Irwin's father says son knew risks of dying." (Banner to a story reporting Steve Irwin's accidental death in Australia. Page A2, in the Houston Chronicle, September 7, 2006.)
  Note: O, don't we all.
  
  
• "No Acceleration Lane." (Warning sign at an entrance to I10 East near Katy, TX)
  Note: No problem for my '49 Chevy.
  
  
• "Is there any way you could be pregnant?" (Question 12A, "For Female Patient's Only", on the Kelsey-Seybold Patient CT History Form, Rev. 2006-04-13)
  Note: Uh ... Just the usual.
  
  
• "Free rent" (Banner on the side of an apartment building in the 9500 block of Westheimer, Houston, TX)
  Note: OK, I'll have some.
  
  
• "And we'll be there, too, with a live report" (Ron Trevino, reporting on plans of the victim's family members to witness the execution of the murderer. June 6, 2007, 12:04PM, Channel 11, Houston, TX)
  Note: In a manner of speaking.
  
  
• "Apart, we [U.S. Trust & Bank of America Private Wealth Management] were two of the most respected financial institutions in America. Together, our clients can only imagine the possibilities."(Advertisement on page C8, New York Times, July 2, 2007.)
  Note: Now that's frustrating.
  
  
• "... the Syrian state news agency confirmed that he [Imad Mugniyah] was the man killed in the bombing, citing Syria's interior minister, Bassam Abdul-Majeed, who said Syria 'condemns this cowardly terrorist attack ...' ...."(Page A1, New York Times, February 14, 2008.)
  Note: An ostensive definition of irony.
  
  
• "The newspaper [Zimbabwe's state newspaper, The Sunday Mail,] also quoted a ZANU-PF official as saying that the party has rejected an offer from the opposition MDC [Movement for Democratic Change] to form a national unity government, saying such a coalition would be like mixing water with fire." (From "Court to Rule on Zimbabwe Pole Results", April 6, 2008) URL: http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/04/06/zimbabwe.election/?iref=hpmostpop. )
  Note: Maybe that is a dialect of English that I am not familiar with.
  
  
• "If you are Christian,," he [Kisik Lee, coach of the American Olympic archery team] said, "then people can have that kind of empty mind." (Page A12, New York Times, August 20, 2008.)
  Note: Yes, there is some missing context. ... but still.
  
  
• "Franken declared winner, but not out of the clear yet." (Kansas City Star. URL: http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics/story/966194.html, January 5, 2009)
  Note: It's all a matter of perspective.
  
  
• "Undercover Police" (Notice emblazoned on the front of a teeshirt, worn by a customer in Kroger's grocery store, Houston, TX. August, 2009. )
  Note: I guess that I just miss the principle.