Running Jokes from The Winter's Tale
Most of these were limited strictly to backstage joking. (And thank
goodness for that!) At any rate, this is a brief sample of the sorts of
things actors come up with to keep from going completely insane. If
anyone has anything they'd like to see added, forward it to me.
[Index]
From psrogers@owlnet.rice.edu Mon Mar 24 08:53:52 1997
Date: Sun, 23 Mar 1997 17:04:02 -0600 (CST)
From: Peter Scott Rogers
To: karinlee@io.com
Subject: tWiT running joke list
Hallo --
Thought I'd start compiling all of the running jokes from the Winter's
Tale I could think of -- presumably they could find some home among
the archive...
I:ii
----
Backstage, Roger & I would play out the initial conversation as
heavily belligerent ["We'll part the time between's then; and, if you
gainsay that, we may just have to take this outside!" with various
references to various sizes of cans of wup-ass thrown in] --
"Tongue-tied, our queen?" becomes an excuse to bring someone else into
the fray on my side :)...
Chepe: I think we'll just change "burthen" to "burden" here. It's a
common change; if we had "murther," we'd change it to "murder"...
Peter: "Inch-thick" to...
Paul had a unique take on that reading: "Inch-dick [oh, dear.
paltry.] Knee-deep [hmm. more impressive.] O'er head and ears
[whoa!] ... a forked one! [now, wait, *that's not normal.*]
After exiting in I:ii, I always passed Roger on my way outside (to
circle around for my entrance in II:i). I always gave him the most
wild, distorted grimaces I could manage ["The king hath on him such a
countenance..."]...
Also, we decided that Sir Smile, his neighbor ("Nay -- there's comfort
in't!") actually refers to Paul's boxers. "Because, of course, the
whole play... is about my boxers" -- Paul
II:i
----
Sotto voce business during my "spider speech" [my least favorite
speech in the play]...
Dion: What the hell is he talking about, Cleomenes?
Cleomenes: No idea.
II:iii
------
During auditions, Roger had a rather different reading of "What news
there, ho?"
"Ho" was a noun.
Leontes: Within this hour bring me word 'tis done,
And by good testimony, or I'll seize thy beer...
Antigons: NOOOOO!!!! DEAR GOD ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
III:ii
------
The only humor that happened from my point of view here were in the
rehearsals when it took way too long for Hermione to pass out and get
carried away. It evoked extra lines ("Yes, bear her hence around yon
chairs, and far beyond the outer commons.") and at one point, a hug
between Leontes and the first Lord ("It's okay, man.")
Servant: My lord, the king, the king!
Leontes: What is the business?
Servant: O sir, I shall be hated to report it!
The prince your son, with mere conceit and fear
Of the queen's speed, is gay!
Leontes: How gay!
Servant: [taking a long, leisurely drag from a cigarette]
*Really* gay.
Another possibility discussed was Zane interchanging his trial lines
with some from IV:iv ... "Master! There are three carters, three
shepherds... etc."
The final night version of the oracle: "Hermione is a whore.
Polixenes is doin' Camillo. Leontes is a horrible child molester.
Cleomenes and Dion will one day rule the kingdom!"
[Karin's note: That was what was written on the paper, at any rate...]
IV:i
----
There was actually an RSC production that did this scene as loud rap
music (source: Dr. Skura).
IV:iii
------
Be sure to get the full text of the "Martinized" version of "I have
served Prince Florizel and in my time wore three-pile..."
All I know is that it begins "I have served Prince Florizel. And
how!"
[Karin's note: "Martinized" is a reference to Martin Holt, who as Borachio
in last year's "Much Ado", showed up final night with a lengthened version
of his last speech, explaining how much he loved Margaret, etc., etc...Ask
him about it sometime.]
Of course, it was common during intermission for us 1st half people to
pick a "mark" -- i. e. somebody we didn't like in the front rows, or
someone worthy of harrassment -- and send Paul out as an "enforcer" to
serenade the mark at the start of IV:iii.
IV:iv
-----
Autolycus: Why, this is a passing merry one and goes to the tune of
'the Theme from Shaft." etc.
Who's the Shakespearean thief who gets with the wenches beyond
belief?
[Mopsa & Dorcas:] Autolycus!
Damn right.
Who's the Elizabethan rogue who goes around in shitty clothes?
Autolycus!
Uh-huh.
Autolycus is one bad mother-
Shut yo' mouth!
I'm just talking about Autolycus!
We can dig it.
There was also the possibility of playing Autolycus as a drug dealer:
"O master, if you did but hear the pusher at the door..." One
possible prank: the Clown sniffing deeply one of Autolycus's
"wares"... and getting totally high (at least for a short time).
I was especially amused by doing the Autolycus/Mopsa/Dorcas song to
the tune of Wagner....
[Karin's note: This occurred one night in rehearsal when Mopsa and Dorcas
kept "corpsing" during the ballad trio. Paul finally let loose with a
"Neither!" of Wagnerian volume and bombast.]
V:iii
-----
Hermione: Polixenes. You seem sad, somehow...
Polixenes: Well, everyone else seems newly married. And now, me, I
don't know what I should do next....
Hermione: Have you considered piracy?
You'd make an excellent Dread Pirate Roberts...
Improvised dialogue off-stage, during notes...
Perdita: Daddy, I want to take a nap... can I take a nap?
Leontes: Sure, Perdita, just as soon as you drink your jug
of espresso....
Perdita: Hmmph. I liked it better when I was living with the
Shepherd; I only had to scrub the dirt floors there...
Leontes: ... and if the Shepherd comes through
with the cash payment, you'll be living with the
Shepherd again!
thanks for bearing with me
=-p-=
ps The song generated after Paul announced "I am an asshole tonight!"
Gouging and biting, punching and fighting
Something for everyone -- an asshole tonight!
Nothing is surer, than acting like der Fuhrer
Something for everyone -- an asshole tonight!
Nothing that's nice! Nothing that's cute!
Sit on your ass and you'll get the boot!
But, what is the moral? Must be a moral.
What is the moral, wrong or right?
Morals tomorrow, an asshole [repeat x4] to-NIIIIIGHT!
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|\ _,,,---,,_ Peter Rogers
zzz. /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_. Rice University
|,4- ) )-,_. ,\ ( `'-`
'---''(_/--' `-'\_)
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From psrogers@owlnet.rice.edu Mon Mar 24 08:54:19 1997
Date: Sun, 23 Mar 1997 21:21:28 -0600 (CST)
From: Peter Scott Rogers
To: "Karin L. Kross"
Subject: Re: tWiT running joke list
Some other ones occurred to me...
"Our flute hath been deep in his cups tonight." [approximate] --
Steven B., when the Music didn't start
V:iii
-----
Polixenes & Leontes are passing a reefer back and forth
through the scene...
Leontes: What was he that did make it? [inhale] See my lord? [pass]
Would you not deem it breathed? And that those veins
Did verily bear blood?
Polixenes: [inhale] Masterly done!
The very life seems warm upon her lip.... [pass]
Leontes: [deep inhale, then with slightly frightened tone:]
The fixture of her eye has motion in it, as we are mocked
with art!
...
Paulina: If you can behold it,
I'll make the statue move indeed, descend
And take you by the hand --
Polixenes: Whoa! Whatever it is, that's too much for you, Paulina...
Roger was also talking about having Polixenes as an alcoholic --
somehow working in a full glass of wine into every one of his scenes,
and having him grab Archidamus's wine glass between I:i and I:ii for
good measure.
IV:iv
-----
Camillo: Discase thee instantly.
[Autolycus strips in two seconds flat. Camillo reacts to this
with...]
Thou must think there is necessity in it...
[Autolycus shrugs]
Autolycus: I am a poor fellow, sir!
We all have to pay the bills somehow....
Servant: There is one police officer, one indian chief, one
construction worker, one cowboy, and one man in leather, that have
made themselves all men of hair! They call themselves the Village
People, and they have a dance, which the wenches say is a gallimaufery
of gambols, because they are not in't. In fact, they don't even seem
interested in the wenches....
okay, back to studying.
=-p-=
-----------------------------------------------------------
|\ _,,,---,,_ Peter Rogers
zzz. /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_. Rice University
|,4- ) )-,_. ,\ ( `'-`
'---''(_/--' `-'\_)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 1997 00:56:35 -0600 (CST)
From: "Karin L. Kross"
To: Peter Rogers
Cc: Joseph L Lockett , Paul Tevis
Subject: This is a symptom...
...of a diseased mind. This wormed its way into my head as I was trying
to sleep tonight:
"Sicilia" (sung by Polixenes, to the tune of Paul Simon's "Cecilia")
Oh Sicilia,
You're breakin' my heart
You're shaking my confidence daily
Oh Sicilia
I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please
Let me go
Whoa whoa whoa
Visiting Leontes my friend
In Sicilia, and Hermione his queen
I smiled at her once or twice
And the next thing I know,
I'm running for my life...
Thank God my imagination gave up then...I've been trying to stay away from
this rather obvious pun for the past eight weeks and I finally lost...
Sorry. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme...
-klk